First Date Disasters
by Cana-Puff
Summary: (Another) FrUk kink meme for LJ! After skirting around each other for centuries, Francis finally manages to ask Arthur out on a date, but things just keep going wrong... Written for d riderkohaku.


Arthur wondered into the restaurant. Francis said he'd be there, so if he wasn't…! Arthur scowled, eyes scanning the room. A waiter approached him.

"Sir, you are Arthur Kirkland?"

"Uh, yes. I am."

"Mr Bonnefoy has reserved a table for the two of you. This way."

"Uh… Thank you." Arthur followed the man, bemusedly. Francis had ordered a waiter to look out for him? Ah… there was the Frog. In a private booth with a curtain and everything. Of course, just like him to go all out. He marched up and pulled up a chair, sitting down.

"Hey…" He said, awkwardly.

"Bonjour…" Was the equally awkward reply, "You look nice today, did you do something to your hair?"

"Uh, no…" Arthur nervously patted down his hair before realising that he'd not even taken off his jacket yet. Doing so, he laughed, shakily. "You are wearing aftershave?" He asked.

"Uh, oui…" Francis nodded, chuckling. His voice also sounded off, so he was probably about as brave as Arthur was at the moment. "I had a look a look at the wine list… The Gruner Veltliner looks good. Would you like to order some of it?"

"Uh, sure? I don't really know my wine."

"Ok, then just trust me on this." Francis held up a hand and called for a waiter, ordering the wine and getting Arthur a menu. Arthur used it to hide his face and the forming blush.

"Um… It was nice of you to t-take me here, I guess? Your outfit looks nice today…"

"Merci…" Francis self-consciously curled a lock of hair around his finger. The waiter came back with two glasses of wine and the bottle, placing them on the table and taking their orders. When he removed the menus, Arthur felt like a personal defence had been taken away, and he couldn't hide any more.

Huh. Francis' hands were right there… Just _sitting_ on the table… Arthur reached out and tried to snatch them, the hands hovering there but not doing anything… When Francis' hands shifted, Arthur withdrew his sharpish, knocking over the salt in the process. Francis jumped.

"Ahahaha! Whoops! Looks like I gave myself bad luck!" Arthur laughed nervously, inwardly cursing himself for being so clumsy. He pinched some salt and threw it over his shoulder, as was tradition to prevent salt-spilling-induced curses. Francis grinned at him, as though to say 'Silly Arthur!' Arthur bit his lip. Francis probably thought he was stupid and clumsy now, and will probably think asking him out on a date was a stupid thing to do!

Francis thought it best not to say anything about the salt-chucking, and started to sweep up the spilt grains, brushing them off the edge. His wrist bumped the flower in the centre and it wobbled, spilling water on Arthur's napkin and successfully putting out the small candle next to it. At least Francis managed to catch it before it fell and ruined everything, setting it back upright.

"Oh… Damn!" He picked up the wet napkin and put it on the side for the waiter to collect when he got back, and started to dab at the patches of wet on the table. "Dear, dear… I'm so sorry…"

Arthur shook his head, "No, it's fine! Uh… Here, let me light the candle again." He took out his lighter and created a spark which set off a flame. He held it over to the candle, his hands shaking. He lit it, but Francis' wrist jerked and smacked into his, which meant it came into contact with the flame, which meant his sleeve caught on fire…

Francis screamed and waved his wrist around, trying to stop the flame. Arthur had a moment of panic where he grabbed the vase with the flower in it and dumped it on Francis arm, which put out the flame, so it was just a damp, singed sleeve.

"Oh god… Oh god, I am _terribly_ sorry, Francis! Just… Jeez, I'm really sorry!" He stuffed the lighter back into his pocket where it was safe and slid Francis sleeve up to his elbow.

"Merci, Arthur… Ung…" Francis whined, mourning the loss of his beautiful shirt.

"I'm so sorry… Looks like I'm being all clumsy, huh…" Arthur laughed, nervously. Any remaining confidence had been shot down completely. The food came, and the waiter tried his hardest not to question the odd state of things. Francis just smiled sheepishly and Arthur avoided his eyes. They ate in silence for a little while, until Arthur thought he wanted to clear it up and make it less tense between them. After all, he _really_ liked Francis and didn't want to ruin it.

"So… I'm so sorry about your shirt… It looked fabulous on you, y'know." He attempted.

"Merci, Arthur…" Francis rolled up his sleeves to cover up the burn and make them look even.

"You should go put your arm under some water; I don't want that swelling…" Arthur suggested. Francis nodded, standing. "I'll be back in a few minutes, oui?"

"Ok, do you mind if I eat without you?"

"No, go ahead." Arthur nodded and began eating while Francis went off to cool down his arm. He came back about ten minutes later.

"It's as best as it'll get," He said, smiling sheepishly.

"That's good to hear," Arthur smiled. "Now eat your food before it gets cold?"

"Oui, good idea…" Francis sat down and began to eat on the food which had already gone cold by this point, despite Arthur's prompting and Francis trying his best to go as quickly as possible. Arthur finished his food before Francis had even gotten half way, so Francis took a small bite and held it out to Arthur.

Arthur blushed and took it in his mouth, gravy dripping down his chin, which he quickly wiped away with a napkin, blushing. Francis fed him a few more times and Arthur felt pleased, glad to know that _something_ had gone right. Francis finally finished his food about twenty minutes later.

"Come on," Arthur smiled, "Shall we get out of here and escape to our own houses?"

"Sounds good," Francis nodded, smiling. They called for the bill and the waiter brought it, bringing it to the table. Arthur took out his money at the same time as Francis.

"Oh—I'll pay, it's ok," Arthur said, waving Francis away.

"What are you talking about? I'm the one who asked you on this date, don't be silly!"

"But you paid just to get in, and you made all these reservations! And I burnt your arm, come on!" Arthur said, in an attempt to be the gentleman. "Plus I'm English, that's what we do!"

"How about we split the bill?" Francis suggested, going for the compromise. Or else they'd get nowhere!

"Ok… Ok, yes, that sounds good." Arthur nodded in agreement, and took out money for half of the bill to pay, as did Francis. They left a hefty tip as thanks for the waiter to have put up with their madness, and begun to walk. The mainly walked in silence, but with the occasional comment about the other person or the weather.

About half way through, Arthur plucked up his courage and snatched Francis hand. "Walk me home?"

Francis blinked, looking down and the hand held in his, before up to the man it belonged to. "Uh… Sure." He smiled sweetly, and swerved a corner in the direction of Arthur's house. Arthur was the type of person to have a big collection of useless garden ornaments, so he had a small fountain and a few of those stupid pink flamingos, as well as a couple of classic garden gnomes.

He steered Arthur all the way up to the doorway and stopped. '_Ok, Francis Bonnefoy, this is the moment you show that you're the country of love and really sweep him off his feet with your gorgeous and amazing self. Just go ahead and do it!'_

Arthur turned around to face him. "I had a great time tonight…" He smiled. Francis smiled back.

"Glad to hear it… Would you like to do it again sometime?"

"Yeah… Yes. I'd like that." Arthur nodded in confirmation. Francis grinned.

"Excellent." _Ok, now is the time for your manly awesomeness, Francis! Be a true Frenchman!_ Francis pulled Arthur towards him and tilted his head down, placing his lips on Arthur's. The kiss was awkward and stiff, because Francis had lost almost all nerve, and Arthur barely knew what he was doing! Francis pulled away after a few seconds, and Arthur flushed.

"Yeah. I'd _really_ like to go out with you some time…" And with that, he went inside. Francis felt rather pleased with himself. He'd managed to go on his first ever date with Arthur, whom he'd not been able to ask out for a good few centuries, and it had gone with at least very few slip ups! He turned to leave, glancing at a gnome out of the corner of his eye.

"…What?" Francis felt stupid. The gnome was looking at him funny. The _garden gnome_ was looking at him funny. "It went well, don't give me that look!" He huffed and turned away. "You're being silly!" Now he wasn't sure if he was talking to the gnome or himself. "Of course he wants to go out with me again! Ok, seriously, please stop looking at me like that, with that obnoxious smirk and that fishing rod!"

"OI!" Arthur called out of his window. "Stop talking to my gnome like a madman!"

"Whoops!" Francis wasn't sure what else to say, so he ran away, laughing at his own stupidity and feeling generally good about himself!

**A/N – I… Don't know what this is. I dunno. Hm… TT-TT Review?**


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